At the risk of sounding bossy…..
We don’t get to complain about something we’re not willing to do something about.
Admittedly a bold call to action, but one we’d like to explore…..
Complaints are actually very useful tools in our daily lives. They can be valuable clues in identifying troublesome issues and they alert us to situations, interactions, circumstances and events that don’t sit well with us. They fall into two categories (I’m sure there are more but in the interest of brevity….): daily annoying irritations - like running out of milk for your coffee in the morning, traffic patterns and other drivers, daily interruptions in our otherwise well-scheduled days, social media interactions etc.. - and the larger, more existential varieties like “Are we happy?” At work? With our professional or personal partners? Are we exploring our professional callings, enjoying the journeys and moving in a direction that will lead us to professional and personal self actualization? Big questions indeed…..Complaints are also useful in identifying patterns; if we’re repeating the same grievances ad nauseum, there’s probably an issue that ought to be addressed, which is hard; Things should go the way we want without any effort or thought - right?
NO!
We each have a responsibility to ourselves to figure out what’s bugging us, why something is annoying, and then to think through how to remove or change the discontent. Peevishness is not a great use of our time or energy, and diverts our brain power from truly engaging in fulfilling endeavors and peace of mind.
On Facebook one evening, I noticed one of my clients was immersed in an escalating, contentious exchange on his newsfeed. He’s a public facing entertainer with a large and growing fan base of differing social/political views and cannot afford to alienate one side or the other. Yet there he was, arguing, railing and complaining - on social media! I called him immediately and gently (OK, not so gently) told him to STOP POSTING! He complained that what people were saying was pissing him off and he “just needed to get his thoughts off his chest.” We can control a lot, but not other peoples’ opinions. To his immense credit, he grudgingly took down the notorious feed, removed the Facebook application from his phone, and, by all accounts has eliminated that particular exasperation from his day to day life. Problem solved, annoyance averted.
Shifting our thinking to “what can we do about daily irritations? How can I think of this differently?”, is a good start. Most day-to-day annoyances have reasonably simple fixes. You don’t have milk for your coffee? Going to the market the night before might have been a good idea. Don’t like the traffic? Maybe think about leaving a little earlier. Allowing your day to be hijacked by phone calls or interruptions? Perhaps set some professional boundaries and say “I can’t get to this right now, but will do when I have a free moment.” And mean it! Don’t like what you’re seeing on social media? Disengage. In the big scheme of things, relatively minor complaints and grievances that get in the way of ease, comfort, happiness, and focus are generally fairly easy to resolve with forethought and intention.
The larger, more existential exasperations tend to take a little more time, thought, and research in order to figure out what to do about them. We need look no further than our own Future Image Group curriculum.
Over the course of my 15 years as a headhunter, I began to hear an escalating refrain from senior leadership about the “goddamned Millennials,” and similarly, from the more junior professionals, about the “old dinosaurs,” you’ve heard it: “Hey Boomers.” Communication, relationships, and indeed, businesses, were being affected in an extraordinarily negative fashion. This is clearly a problem.
Through years of research, we learned that we currently have 5 generations all working together in the workplace (or remotely) for the first time in history, all with differing communication styles, for a myriad of reasons. Meaningful face-to-face personal and professional relationships are being eroded at an alarming rate. Through this research, we were reminded that we are human beings and as such REQUIRE interpersonal skills, communication and empathy. Elements of building authentic face-to-face relationships are becoming a lost skill set in business. FIG was conceived, designed, developed, and is dedicated to helping all generations and professionals set themselves apart by raising awareness of the importance of developing meaningful professional relationships.
We decided to do something about it. We developed a solution.
We wrote a curriculum that teases apart the actual mechanics of developing professional relationships intergenerationally: both the hard and soft skills. We’ve also learned that there is a significant appetite for this guidance by forward thinking, enlightened and progressive management echelons who understand that investing in their employees’ professional growth and development pays off exponentially in morale, office interrelationships, generational communications and yes, the bottom line.
Has it taken some time to raise this awareness in a previously unknown discipline? You bet. Has it been one of the hardest things we’ve ever done professionally? Absolutely. Is it fundamentally imperative that we raise the concern and issue to general consciousness? Unquestionably. This is our passion, our mission, our dream.
There are reasons for everything . As it turns out, there’s a solution for everything.
Until next time…..