: to make different in some particular : ALTER
: to make radically different : TRANSFORM
: to make a shift from one to another : SWITCH
: to become different
Ahh yes: “Alter, transform and switch, to become different’’.....these words resonate a lot in FIG’s evolution, we’re excited about a little bit of change (and a little apprehensive if we’re being honest!).
In her Wall Street Journal article: Digital Addictions Are Drowning Us in Dopamine, Dr, Lembke, a Stamford University professor and psychiatrist, talks about the scientific biological effects of addictions to our devices. It’s real folks. This is not FIG banging the drum of putting down our phones or any other technological apparatus and talking or connecting with our fellow human beings. No. This is concrete, physiological, measurable, science based fact that continuously interacting with our high-tech electronic leashes, gaming apparatuses and social media actually, physically, alters our brains to crave more of it, thereby de-incentivising us to engage with others on a human level.
Gasp, shock and awe!
Mistakes. We all make them, we’re human beings and by definition 99.9% imperfect (with apologies to those of you who think otherwise), which results in, guess what? Mistakes (we make them hourly at FIG)! That gaffes, miscalculations and oversights are a part of our collective experience on this earth. Why (on earth!) is it so hard to admit to making mistakes, take responsibility for these human aberrations and move on after making a miscalculation or error? Hmmmm?
We all have habits - some serve us well and some get in our way…...Google states: “A habit is a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.” Establishing a habit usually takes about two weeks to become routine and is subsequently supported and reinforced by practicing it daily.
Ever had a “Monday” on any day of the week? Ever had your day perfectly planned, scheduled and organized only to have all your intended “to-do’s”: meetings, calls, oh yeah, actual “work,” utterly blown up by an unexpected interruption, complication, interference? Ever had someone insert themselves into your day with their drama, troubles or lack of planning (real or self-inflicted), requiring you to shelve your carefully laid out day(s) and requiring you to stop whatever you’re doing for their fire drill?
Yeah, us too.
: to make different in some particular : ALTER
: to make radically different : TRANSFORM
: to make a shift from one to another : SWITCH
: to become different
Ahh yes: “Alter, transform and switch, to become different’’.....these words resonate a lot in FIG’s evolution, we’re excited about a little bit of change (and a little apprehensive if we’re being honest!).
In her Wall Street Journal article: Digital Addictions Are Drowning Us in Dopamine, Dr, Lembke, a Stamford University professor and psychiatrist, talks about the scientific biological effects of addictions to our devices. It’s real folks. This is not FIG banging the drum of putting down our phones or any other technological apparatus and talking or connecting with our fellow human beings. No. This is concrete, physiological, measurable, science based fact that continuously interacting with our high-tech electronic leashes, gaming apparatuses and social media actually, physically, alters our brains to crave more of it, thereby de-incentivising us to engage with others on a human level.
Gasp, shock and awe!
Mistakes. We all make them, we’re human beings and by definition 99.9% imperfect (with apologies to those of you who think otherwise), which results in, guess what? Mistakes (we make them hourly at FIG)! That gaffes, miscalculations and oversights are a part of our collective experience on this earth. Why (on earth!) is it so hard to admit to making mistakes, take responsibility for these human aberrations and move on after making a miscalculation or error? Hmmmm?
We all have habits - some serve us well and some get in our way…...Google states: “A habit is a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.” Establishing a habit usually takes about two weeks to become routine and is subsequently supported and reinforced by practicing it daily.
Ever had a “Monday” on any day of the week? Ever had your day perfectly planned, scheduled and organized only to have all your intended “to-do’s”: meetings, calls, oh yeah, actual “work,” utterly blown up by an unexpected interruption, complication, interference? Ever had someone insert themselves into your day with their drama, troubles or lack of planning (real or self-inflicted), requiring you to shelve your carefully laid out day(s) and requiring you to stop whatever you’re doing for their fire drill?
Yeah, us too.
Happy Thursday, All!
Lately, we’ve been thinking about compliments, one of the great gifts we can give one another and elements of interactions that are a cherished part of our linguistic capabilities. As one does when thinking about a specific topic, we began paying attention to people's behaviors around giving and receiving these gifts. Chances are we are all guilty of offering disingenuous toss away platitudes like, “Nice job!” or, “Looking good!” or, “Aren’t you nice?” We are all probably equally guilty for, at some point in our lives, deflecting, dismissing or otherwise blowing off a compliment or commendation with, “Oh, don’t be silly” or, “Nah, you’re just saying that,” or “Oh, stop it” or “You really think that?” or (our personal cynical favorite) “I’ll pay you later” or, worst of all, simply ignoring one. The thing is: when we toss around oblique non-specific “accolades” like Mardi Gras beads to just about everyone, frankly our credibility comes into question making it suspect to those on the receiving end whether they are conscious of it or not (it’s that pesky amygdala “bullshit detector” again!). Conversely, when we deflect or dismiss an apparently genuine acknowledgement of something someone perceives as a good thing, we’re essentially saying, ”Your opinion or observation is of no value to me,” which usually isn’t the case (usually it indicates a certain lack of confidence or need for more validation in the deflector - but that’s a topic for another day). The banality of those, while probably well-meant, platitudes like “good job” are so ubiquitous these days, we think, are a result of people not slowing down and thinking about what we are actually trying to say. And honestly, it’s just simpler. But do we really want simple or do we want to add value to those we care about or work with by genuinely acknowledging someone’s accomplishments and valuing others' honest assessment of a job well done?
Yeah, us too.
So how?
Last weekend, I treated myself to a manicure (which was lovely!) and an event happened that I haven’t been able to shake. Here’s what transpired: we were about halfway through this luxury and a guy walked into the salon with his son (unusual, but there it is). The owner, who was tending to my post-pandemic hands and cuticles (it wasn’t pretty!), asked - as they do when anyone comes in- “Hello! How can we help you?” The guy said, “I’ll need 7 mani/pedis for a party. Can you do it in an hour?” The owner looked around her Saturday busy salon - all 5 of the nail technicians were busy with clients and would be for the next 2 hours. So she said to the guy (paraphrasing a bit) “Can you come back in 2 hours? We’ll have to stagger your party, but we can fit them all in then?” The guy, clearly annoyed, said to his son, “Let’s go!” The boy said “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you taking the appointments?” The (Dad?) said it was much too long to wait, they’d find somewhere else, and probably wouldn’t be back!. For a party of 7, requested an hour in advance!
SO. A lot to unpack here…..
Hello again and happy Thursday!
We’re hoping you had a chance to listen to the conversation we offered last week for your listening pleasure, and thought we’d highlight some of the (we think!) key takeaways from the broadcast. Alex Cullimore, Cristina Amigoni and I examined, in depth, the concepts of meaningful conversation and connection, the fears involved in making us shy away from communicating intentionally, and the tools we have currently at our disposal that facilitate our avoidance - and there are a TON of them! In 2021, we find ourselves in a world, loaded with technology created to help us to facilitate communication more easily and more fluidly, at least conceptually. However we find that the platforms, apps, emails, texting, social media et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, in addition to being convenient and relatively quick and easy, have also had the (we’re sure!) unintended consequence of helping us avoid the, sometimes terrifying, prospect of actually having conversations and allowing us to avoid the very same. Throughout the podcast, I also found myself coming back again and again to the idea of the expectation of perfection.
Perfection, (defined by Dictionary.com as a quality, trait, or feature of the highest degree of excellence), is an impossible standard to strive for, (vastly overstating the obvious, but just sayin’). Perfection is the opposite of the human experience and our authentic selves. Human beings are messy and imperfect, but these are also the traits that make humanity beautiful. This crusade towards perfection is yet another reason we see a breakdown in communication between the five generations and amongst ourselves in the workplace and humans in general. Why is the quest for perfection a piece of this dysfunction? How can we overcome a trend that has slowly been bred by technology into our habits as human beings? We invite you to read on…...
Practice: Another one of those words we throw around theoretically a lot. We talk often about “practice” in this space, but we thought we’d break it down to brass tacks and talk about what it means in form and execution. Not necessarily the sexiest topic in the world, as it probably throws us back to tedious hours practing our piano scales or long hours in the hot sun at soccer practice - but it’s really really important nonetheless, especially in today’s fast-paced world, where we barely have time to think and where the expectation of immediate gratification is so rampant. That frankly odious statement, “practice makes perfect,” is in fact true - and we’re forgetting to do it with our professional relationships.
SO - why is practice so important? Well, in business, connecting, maintaining, sustaining and nurturing relationships is an indisputable necessity. Business is done because of relationships - full stop. Sadly, we have become complacent in remembering the importance of our colleagues to our businesses, deferring to connecting on social media or quick emails to stay caught up with their lives - which is a woeful substitute to actually, really and truly knowing someone. Media is one-dimensional. Humans are very very multidimensional. Letting ourselves be known can be scary, for sure! It requires some vulnerability in allowing the other to know us, and some curiosity on our part to know them: our integrity, our beliefs, what we stand for professionally, are we reliable, dependable, patient, pleasant, fun, maybe funny? Smart? Someone they’d like to do business with? Someone they feel comfortable inviting to their networks? Someone they wouldn’t hesitate to pick up the phone to refer a colleague to? If we all can agree that these relationships are important in business, then why are we talking about practice?
Benevolence…….We worry about the lack of kindness in our world today. We worry that we have become so accustomed to assuming the worst from our fellow humans, that we have forgotten about affection and cordiality. We worry that the belief that the intentions of our fellow humans have become so polluted with expectations of the worst possible meanings or outcomes, that we’re forgetting about tenderness, patience, altruism and gentleness. We worry that we are becoming numb to generosity, compassion, consideration, or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward, and that this standard is becoming pervasive. It’s a lot to worry about.
