: to make different in some particular : ALTER
: to make radically different : TRANSFORM
: to make a shift from one to another : SWITCH
: to become different
Ahh yes: “Alter, transform and switch, to become different’’.....these words resonate a lot in FIG’s evolution, we’re excited about a little bit of change (and a little apprehensive if we’re being honest!).
In her Wall Street Journal article: Digital Addictions Are Drowning Us in Dopamine, Dr, Lembke, a Stamford University professor and psychiatrist, talks about the scientific biological effects of addictions to our devices. It’s real folks. This is not FIG banging the drum of putting down our phones or any other technological apparatus and talking or connecting with our fellow human beings. No. This is concrete, physiological, measurable, science based fact that continuously interacting with our high-tech electronic leashes, gaming apparatuses and social media actually, physically, alters our brains to crave more of it, thereby de-incentivising us to engage with others on a human level.
Gasp, shock and awe!
Mistakes. We all make them, we’re human beings and by definition 99.9% imperfect (with apologies to those of you who think otherwise), which results in, guess what? Mistakes (we make them hourly at FIG)! That gaffes, miscalculations and oversights are a part of our collective experience on this earth. Why (on earth!) is it so hard to admit to making mistakes, take responsibility for these human aberrations and move on after making a miscalculation or error? Hmmmm?
We all have habits - some serve us well and some get in our way…...Google states: “A habit is a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.” Establishing a habit usually takes about two weeks to become routine and is subsequently supported and reinforced by practicing it daily.
Ever had a “Monday” on any day of the week? Ever had your day perfectly planned, scheduled and organized only to have all your intended “to-do’s”: meetings, calls, oh yeah, actual “work,” utterly blown up by an unexpected interruption, complication, interference? Ever had someone insert themselves into your day with their drama, troubles or lack of planning (real or self-inflicted), requiring you to shelve your carefully laid out day(s) and requiring you to stop whatever you’re doing for their fire drill?
Yeah, us too.
: to make different in some particular : ALTER
: to make radically different : TRANSFORM
: to make a shift from one to another : SWITCH
: to become different
Ahh yes: “Alter, transform and switch, to become different’’.....these words resonate a lot in FIG’s evolution, we’re excited about a little bit of change (and a little apprehensive if we’re being honest!).
In her Wall Street Journal article: Digital Addictions Are Drowning Us in Dopamine, Dr, Lembke, a Stamford University professor and psychiatrist, talks about the scientific biological effects of addictions to our devices. It’s real folks. This is not FIG banging the drum of putting down our phones or any other technological apparatus and talking or connecting with our fellow human beings. No. This is concrete, physiological, measurable, science based fact that continuously interacting with our high-tech electronic leashes, gaming apparatuses and social media actually, physically, alters our brains to crave more of it, thereby de-incentivising us to engage with others on a human level.
Gasp, shock and awe!
We all have habits - some serve us well and some get in our way…...Google states: “A habit is a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.” Establishing a habit usually takes about two weeks to become routine and is subsequently supported and reinforced by practicing it daily.
Ever had a “Monday” on any day of the week? Ever had your day perfectly planned, scheduled and organized only to have all your intended “to-do’s”: meetings, calls, oh yeah, actual “work,” utterly blown up by an unexpected interruption, complication, interference? Ever had someone insert themselves into your day with their drama, troubles or lack of planning (real or self-inflicted), requiring you to shelve your carefully laid out day(s) and requiring you to stop whatever you’re doing for their fire drill?
Yeah, us too.
Practice: Another one of those words we throw around theoretically a lot. We talk often about “practice” in this space, but we thought we’d break it down to brass tacks and talk about what it means in form and execution. Not necessarily the sexiest topic in the world, as it probably throws us back to tedious hours practing our piano scales or long hours in the hot sun at soccer practice - but it’s really really important nonetheless, especially in today’s fast-paced world, where we barely have time to think and where the expectation of immediate gratification is so rampant. That frankly odious statement, “practice makes perfect,” is in fact true - and we’re forgetting to do it with our professional relationships.
SO - why is practice so important? Well, in business, connecting, maintaining, sustaining and nurturing relationships is an indisputable necessity. Business is done because of relationships - full stop. Sadly, we have become complacent in remembering the importance of our colleagues to our businesses, deferring to connecting on social media or quick emails to stay caught up with their lives - which is a woeful substitute to actually, really and truly knowing someone. Media is one-dimensional. Humans are very very multidimensional. Letting ourselves be known can be scary, for sure! It requires some vulnerability in allowing the other to know us, and some curiosity on our part to know them: our integrity, our beliefs, what we stand for professionally, are we reliable, dependable, patient, pleasant, fun, maybe funny? Smart? Someone they’d like to do business with? Someone they feel comfortable inviting to their networks? Someone they wouldn’t hesitate to pick up the phone to refer a colleague to? If we all can agree that these relationships are important in business, then why are we talking about practice?
In her monthly newsletter for the Colorado Attorney Mentoring Program (CAMP), Ryann Peyton spoke about Essence vs. Persona: What's Informing Your Professional Identity? Around the same time FIG was invited to participate in a podcast at the end of May. It’ll be conversational about FIG’s work, but in advance, the hosts asked me to consider the concept of authenticity so this is as much an exercise for this writer as it is hopefully illuminating for you all, dear readers.
Dictionary.com defines authenticity as: “the quality of being authentic; genuineness”. What does THAT mean? How do we find and identify our authentic selves? Our unique identities?
Ahhh yes, an unfortunate detail in living and working with other humans: those nettlesome disagreements. We all have them, not many of us enjoy the experience (although there are those who seem to thrive on conflict, but that’s a discussion for another day), and yet, periodic discord does in fact rear its head from time to time. Disagreements are not necessarily a bad thing, not at all. They can provide a forum to hear different points of view, distinctive, contrasting and sometimes off-beat attitudes, beliefs and worldviews which, when conducted constructively, create the potential to broaden our own minds and perceptions thus enabling us to expand our horizons and intellects. All good things. So why do so many of us avoid having healthy debates and run like our hair’s on fire to Dodge or otherwise sidestep having these kinds of exchanges?
Yep, there’s a reason (broken FIG record), and guess what they boil down to?? Feelings! Confrontations bring up all manner of feelings: discomfort, frustration, irritation, annoyance, fear, rage, blame, outrage, disdain, being attacked, not being heard, recognized, appreciated, none of which are particularly fun or associated with a positive experience. In fact, on the continuum of fun to unfun, these feelings rank pretty highly in the unfun column. But let’s dig into why, shall we?
In our fast paced business world (which seems oddly even more busy tethered to our computers instead of traveling to meetings and commitments), it’s SO easy to become mired in the singularly focused worlds of what we do, how we plan our days, what we want/need to accomplish by what time and who we need when we need them. Makes sense. We need to get stuff done, and in our currently remote situation, which hopefully will end very soon, this is even more challenging: deadlines, Zoom calls, business development, responding to immediate needs of our colleagues, personal life challenges of homeschooling kiddos, designating work spaces, and maintaining home and hearth. It’s a lot, absolutely no question.
We’re humans working with humans, each with our own lens and view on any given situation and interaction. Do we take the time to think about how our actions or inactions affect others? They are certainly easy to forget, particularly in our “home bubbles.” without the personal, non-verbal cues that we receive by being present together in an office, that our actions, inactions, responses, and non responses, do in fact affect others, and that there’s a concept called “common courtesy” that we sometimes forget in our busy lives.
Shifting a bit from “words we throw around a lot,” this week, there was an article written in the Sunday Review section of the New York Times, February 7th, 2021, by a man named Charlie Warzel that really got our attention as it relates to FIG. Warzel talks about his interview with Michael Goldhaber, who, in the 1980s, “outlined the demands of living in an attention economy, describing an ennui that didn’t yet exist but now feels familiar to anyone who makes a living online….. “His epiphany was this: One of the most finite resources in the world is human attention. To describe its scarcity, he latched onto what was then an obscure term, coined by a psychologist, Herbert A. Simon: ‘the attention economy.’” We’re really and truly sorry to disabuse you of the notion that we are able to multitask effectively. Sadly, study after study proves otherwise. “When you pay attention to one thing, you ignore something else.” Goldhaber prophesied.
So! May we beg your attention for the next few minutes?
One of the fundamental principles of our work at FIG is that every experience - every single one - is illuminating, instructive and valuable. Every interaction, every situation, every exchange, every person who enters our lives, every economic, social or business challenge, every hurdle or success: they’re ALL teachers. Even a pandemic.
