Ahhh yes, an unfortunate detail in living and working with other humans: those nettlesome disagreements. We all have them, not many of us enjoy the experience (although there are those who seem to thrive on conflict, but that’s a discussion for another day), and yet, periodic discord does in fact rear its head from time to time. Disagreements are not necessarily a bad thing, not at all. They can provide a forum to hear different points of view, distinctive, contrasting and sometimes off-beat attitudes, beliefs and worldviews which, when conducted constructively, create the potential to broaden our own minds and perceptions thus enabling us to expand our horizons and intellects. All good things. So why do so many of us avoid having healthy debates and run like our hair’s on fire to Dodge or otherwise sidestep having these kinds of exchanges?

Yep, there’s a reason (broken FIG record), and guess what they boil down to?? Feelings! Confrontations bring up all manner of feelings: discomfort, frustration, irritation, annoyance, fear, rage, blame, outrage, disdain, being attacked, not being heard, recognized, appreciated, none of which are particularly fun or associated with a positive experience. In fact, on the continuum of fun to unfun, these feelings rank pretty highly in the unfun column. But let’s dig into why, shall we?