: to make different in some particular : ALTER
: to make radically different : TRANSFORM
: to make a shift from one to another : SWITCH
: to become different
Ahh yes: “Alter, transform and switch, to become different’’.....these words resonate a lot in FIG’s evolution, we’re excited about a little bit of change (and a little apprehensive if we’re being honest!).
In her Wall Street Journal article: Digital Addictions Are Drowning Us in Dopamine, Dr, Lembke, a Stamford University professor and psychiatrist, talks about the scientific biological effects of addictions to our devices. It’s real folks. This is not FIG banging the drum of putting down our phones or any other technological apparatus and talking or connecting with our fellow human beings. No. This is concrete, physiological, measurable, science based fact that continuously interacting with our high-tech electronic leashes, gaming apparatuses and social media actually, physically, alters our brains to crave more of it, thereby de-incentivising us to engage with others on a human level.
Gasp, shock and awe!
Mistakes. We all make them, we’re human beings and by definition 99.9% imperfect (with apologies to those of you who think otherwise), which results in, guess what? Mistakes (we make them hourly at FIG)! That gaffes, miscalculations and oversights are a part of our collective experience on this earth. Why (on earth!) is it so hard to admit to making mistakes, take responsibility for these human aberrations and move on after making a miscalculation or error? Hmmmm?
We all have habits - some serve us well and some get in our way…...Google states: “A habit is a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.” Establishing a habit usually takes about two weeks to become routine and is subsequently supported and reinforced by practicing it daily.
Ever had a “Monday” on any day of the week? Ever had your day perfectly planned, scheduled and organized only to have all your intended “to-do’s”: meetings, calls, oh yeah, actual “work,” utterly blown up by an unexpected interruption, complication, interference? Ever had someone insert themselves into your day with their drama, troubles or lack of planning (real or self-inflicted), requiring you to shelve your carefully laid out day(s) and requiring you to stop whatever you’re doing for their fire drill?
Yeah, us too.
Mistakes. We all make them, we’re human beings and by definition 99.9% imperfect (with apologies to those of you who think otherwise), which results in, guess what? Mistakes (we make them hourly at FIG)! That gaffes, miscalculations and oversights are a part of our collective experience on this earth. Why (on earth!) is it so hard to admit to making mistakes, take responsibility for these human aberrations and move on after making a miscalculation or error? Hmmmm?
We all have habits - some serve us well and some get in our way…...Google states: “A habit is a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.” Establishing a habit usually takes about two weeks to become routine and is subsequently supported and reinforced by practicing it daily.
Ever had a “Monday” on any day of the week? Ever had your day perfectly planned, scheduled and organized only to have all your intended “to-do’s”: meetings, calls, oh yeah, actual “work,” utterly blown up by an unexpected interruption, complication, interference? Ever had someone insert themselves into your day with their drama, troubles or lack of planning (real or self-inflicted), requiring you to shelve your carefully laid out day(s) and requiring you to stop whatever you’re doing for their fire drill?
Yeah, us too.
Hello again and happy Thursday!
We’re hoping you had a chance to listen to the conversation we offered last week for your listening pleasure, and thought we’d highlight some of the (we think!) key takeaways from the broadcast. Alex Cullimore, Cristina Amigoni and I examined, in depth, the concepts of meaningful conversation and connection, the fears involved in making us shy away from communicating intentionally, and the tools we have currently at our disposal that facilitate our avoidance - and there are a TON of them! In 2021, we find ourselves in a world, loaded with technology created to help us to facilitate communication more easily and more fluidly, at least conceptually. However we find that the platforms, apps, emails, texting, social media et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, in addition to being convenient and relatively quick and easy, have also had the (we’re sure!) unintended consequence of helping us avoid the, sometimes terrifying, prospect of actually having conversations and allowing us to avoid the very same. Throughout the podcast, I also found myself coming back again and again to the idea of the expectation of perfection.
Perfection, (defined by Dictionary.com as a quality, trait, or feature of the highest degree of excellence), is an impossible standard to strive for, (vastly overstating the obvious, but just sayin’). Perfection is the opposite of the human experience and our authentic selves. Human beings are messy and imperfect, but these are also the traits that make humanity beautiful. This crusade towards perfection is yet another reason we see a breakdown in communication between the five generations and amongst ourselves in the workplace and humans in general. Why is the quest for perfection a piece of this dysfunction? How can we overcome a trend that has slowly been bred by technology into our habits as human beings? We invite you to read on…...
Happy summer!
This week, we thought we’d mix it up a bit and give you a break from reading - and instead provide you with some interesting listening! We invite you to check out our most recent podcast, Siamo’s Uncover the Human: Connecting with Barbara Randell on Growing Your Human Relationships Currency. Randell was honored to be a part of this podcast with hosts Cristina Amigoni and Alex Cullimore. Here it is for your listing pleasure on your drive home - if you’re actually going into the office - on a lunch break, after work, or for some beach listening (lucky you!) if you’re interested in hearing a little bit about a FIG perspective.
Practice: Another one of those words we throw around theoretically a lot. We talk often about “practice” in this space, but we thought we’d break it down to brass tacks and talk about what it means in form and execution. Not necessarily the sexiest topic in the world, as it probably throws us back to tedious hours practing our piano scales or long hours in the hot sun at soccer practice - but it’s really really important nonetheless, especially in today’s fast-paced world, where we barely have time to think and where the expectation of immediate gratification is so rampant. That frankly odious statement, “practice makes perfect,” is in fact true - and we’re forgetting to do it with our professional relationships.
SO - why is practice so important? Well, in business, connecting, maintaining, sustaining and nurturing relationships is an indisputable necessity. Business is done because of relationships - full stop. Sadly, we have become complacent in remembering the importance of our colleagues to our businesses, deferring to connecting on social media or quick emails to stay caught up with their lives - which is a woeful substitute to actually, really and truly knowing someone. Media is one-dimensional. Humans are very very multidimensional. Letting ourselves be known can be scary, for sure! It requires some vulnerability in allowing the other to know us, and some curiosity on our part to know them: our integrity, our beliefs, what we stand for professionally, are we reliable, dependable, patient, pleasant, fun, maybe funny? Smart? Someone they’d like to do business with? Someone they feel comfortable inviting to their networks? Someone they wouldn’t hesitate to pick up the phone to refer a colleague to? If we all can agree that these relationships are important in business, then why are we talking about practice?
Ahhh yes, an unfortunate detail in living and working with other humans: those nettlesome disagreements. We all have them, not many of us enjoy the experience (although there are those who seem to thrive on conflict, but that’s a discussion for another day), and yet, periodic discord does in fact rear its head from time to time. Disagreements are not necessarily a bad thing, not at all. They can provide a forum to hear different points of view, distinctive, contrasting and sometimes off-beat attitudes, beliefs and worldviews which, when conducted constructively, create the potential to broaden our own minds and perceptions thus enabling us to expand our horizons and intellects. All good things. So why do so many of us avoid having healthy debates and run like our hair’s on fire to Dodge or otherwise sidestep having these kinds of exchanges?
Yep, there’s a reason (broken FIG record), and guess what they boil down to?? Feelings! Confrontations bring up all manner of feelings: discomfort, frustration, irritation, annoyance, fear, rage, blame, outrage, disdain, being attacked, not being heard, recognized, appreciated, none of which are particularly fun or associated with a positive experience. In fact, on the continuum of fun to unfun, these feelings rank pretty highly in the unfun column. But let’s dig into why, shall we?
Yep. We’re going to say it again: we don’t stop being human beings when we become employees (as a gentle reminder).
As humans, we all have emotions, which can sometimes manifest in some questionable approaches to employee to employee, supervisor to employee, and employee to supervisor behaviors, interactions, and exchanges. Have you noticed? As we’re fond of saying, there’s a reason for everything: emotions can get in the way of effective, concise and direct communication, which can then lead to our work environment becoming a place where feelings guide the professional space as opposed to thoughtful, intellectual, rational and intentional goals aimed at a common purpose and directive. Feelings can be illogical, mercurial, random and often incomprehensible. It’s just part of being human. As employees, however, we really need to be mindful of how feelings are very different from rational thought. Feelings are not analytical, impartial or judicious, all characteristics of a well run business.
The thing is (and not going all “kumbaya let’s give one another a hug” here), every single human emotion can be boiled down to two fundamental emotional sources: love and fear.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross says: “There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt.” (OK, a little kumbaya. To add a bit of gravitas, The Atlantic and The Harvard Business Review among others, have published articles discussing love and fear in business, but you take our meaning).
SO. How do these two disparate emotions manifest at work?
We recently listened to a TED talk by Ricardo Semler (FIG’s new hero!) and were blown away by the parallels to something we’ve talked about in past offerings rather a lot. He believes that if “we simply ask why we do things and devolve power to employees, we’re able to to create wiser companies - ones that are simultaneously more productive and have a happier workforce.” In the talk, he discusses the 3 “whys” we as professionals ought to be asking ourselves. He says “the first “why”: you always have a good answer for. The second “why”: it starts getting difficult. By the third “why”: you don't really know why you're doing what you're doing.
Ahh yes, that elusive “WHY!” Why is “why” so important? One of the most pervasive questions we received developing FIG 6 years ago was, “What’s your “why”’ for starting this thing? It’s an important inquiry, and one which has taken a ton of intentional introspection, thought and time to answer. It’s an evolutionary process that has expanded in nuance as FIG has matured; But enough about our company. Let’s dig in and talk about “why,” shall we?
Are we?
I had a dental appointment recently, and, per usual, the office called the day before to confirm I’d be there for their scheduling purposes. When I called back to confirm, the scheduler said “THANK YOU so much for calling back!” with so much gratitude in her voice it made me wonder if I was unusual in my response. As it turns out, I was. When I went in, I asked her about it and she told me that most patients never bothered to verify their appointments and she was so grateful that I had. It was a tiny exchange, but her reaction was so notable it got us thinking: are we showing enough gratitude in our daily lives and in business specifically? Apparently not…..
Relationships involve gratitude - relationships in business especially. According to Google dictionary, the definition of gratitude is: “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” Alfred North Whitehead said “No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.”
Indeed.
We’re human beings going to work. The business-savvy and generous among us recognize that there are unspoken yet patently understood rules, standards and norms in helping our colleagues succeed, a quid pro quo if you like. If we can make someone’s day easier by returning a phone call, of course we're going to! If we know a colleague is facing a challenge and are able to make an introduction to another professional who might be able to help, of course we’ll make that introduction. If we know two people who might be terrific networking referrals for one another, of course we’ll facilitate that encounter. Won’t we?
