Yep. We’re going to say it again: we don’t stop being human beings when we become employees (as a gentle reminder).
As humans, we all have emotions, which can sometimes manifest in some questionable approaches to employee to employee, supervisor to employee, and employee to supervisor behaviors, interactions, and exchanges. Have you noticed? As we’re fond of saying, there’s a reason for everything: emotions can get in the way of effective, concise and direct communication, which can then lead to our work environment becoming a place where feelings guide the professional space as opposed to thoughtful, intellectual, rational and intentional goals aimed at a common purpose and directive. Feelings can be illogical, mercurial, random and often incomprehensible. It’s just part of being human. As employees, however, we really need to be mindful of how feelings are very different from rational thought. Feelings are not analytical, impartial or judicious, all characteristics of a well run business.
The thing is (and not going all “kumbaya let’s give one another a hug” here), every single human emotion can be boiled down to two fundamental emotional sources: love and fear.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross says: “There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt.” (OK, a little kumbaya. To add a bit of gravitas, The Atlantic and The Harvard Business Review among others, have published articles discussing love and fear in business, but you take our meaning).
SO. How do these two disparate emotions manifest at work?
Fear-based exchanges or interactions typically present as rigid, inflexible, bossy, confrontational, unnecessarily demanding, controlling, passive aggressive, uncommunicative or otherwise “hand grenade” personalities (people who blow up, feel better, but, in the process, leave everyone around them metaphorically bloody and wounded). They tend to operate from a place of defensiveness, scarcity, and fear. As always, no judgement, just descriptives, and truly our hearts go out to these folks - they’re frightened of something or someone: failing, maybe being in the wrong position and have Peter Principled, their boss, not hitting their numbers or whatever is their organizations’ measure of success, not being respected, feeling undervalued, unappreciated or just plain cranky.
When we’re conducting ourselves from a place of love, professionally, we tend to be accommodating, open minded, agreeable with clear boundaries, receptive, reasonably flexible, well intended, unprejudiced and practicing abundance and inclusiveness.
Generally, if we’re paying attention, the signs of either are pretty clear: we can usually tell when things are “right” or “not right.” If we’re feeling pinched, uncomfortable or stressed, especially chronically, chances are we’re probably operating from a place of fear. If contentment, clear thinking, inclusiveness and giving our colleagues the benefit of the doubt are our standards, we are probably coming from a place of abundance or love.
Look, we are certainly IN NO WAY advocating for any of you to run around diagnosing your peers and colleagues. That would be obnoxious. While it may be true, it’s just going to piss them off - nobody likes a know-it-all, and candidly, your opinions are none of their business.
We ARE hoping, however, that each of us individually take stock of how we present ourselves at work and how we may be perceived. Again, it all starts with ourselves, a forthright and truthful personal inventory of why we’re behaving the way we are and thinking about what we do and why we do it, is what we’re asking. Why are we reacting to situations? Developing this awareness is a personal choice, and an intentional one. Are we conducting ourselves from a place of unity, expansiveness and amity? Or are we attempting to control, direct or engineer an outcome through sheer will or force? We’re hoping you’ll figure it out (FIG can help) and change it with an eye towards communication, well intended honesty with eyes towards solution. Again, it all starts with us. Operating from a place of abundance or love leads to cohesiveness in the workplace, scarcity or fear will be divisive and destructive. We promise.
So, do we choose love or fear? Hmmmmm…
Until next time…….