Are we?
I had a dental appointment recently, and, per usual, the office called the day before to confirm I’d be there for their scheduling purposes. When I called back to confirm, the scheduler said “THANK YOU so much for calling back!” with so much gratitude in her voice it made me wonder if I was unusual in my response. As it turns out, I was. When I went in, I asked her about it and she told me that most patients never bothered to verify their appointments and she was so grateful that I had. It was a tiny exchange, but her reaction was so notable it got us thinking: are we showing enough gratitude in our daily lives and in business specifically? Apparently not…..
Relationships involve gratitude - relationships in business especially. According to Google dictionary, the definition of gratitude is: “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” Alfred North Whitehead said “No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.”
Indeed.
We’re human beings going to work. The business-savvy and generous among us recognize that there are unspoken yet patently understood rules, standards and norms in helping our colleagues succeed, a quid pro quo if you like. If we can make someone’s day easier by returning a phone call, of course we're going to! If we know a colleague is facing a challenge and are able to make an introduction to another professional who might be able to help, of course we’ll make that introduction. If we know two people who might be terrific networking referrals for one another, of course we’ll facilitate that encounter. Won’t we?
Generally, human beings are kind, compassionate and willing to help out a professional brother or sister. It feels good - great actually - to support each other, especially when that service might benefit them or their businesses’ growth, financially or otherwise. Until it doesn’t. When a referral, introduction, invitation - or even a phone call! - is not acknowledged, appreciated or reciprocated, frankly it leaves a bad taste in our professional mouths.
An introduction by a colleague is a precious and valuable gift: the person making this introduction is testifying, on your behalf, that you could be a valuable connection or resource for one another and his or her reputation is on the line. Living up to this standard then becomes on you. Tell that person thank you! The act of not being recognized or appreciated for any help we lend, makes us, consciously or unconsciously, not want to do it again, really, which is counterintuitive to our natural tendencies of cooperation and assistance. We’re all so busy! Right, “busy” of course, being code for “this is not a priority.” In our view, it’s an imperative priority to care for our business partnerships and showing gratitude is honestly one of the easiest ways to indicate our recognition of these connections. Not to mention it’s the right thing to do, it’s relatively easy and it feels good to do so! Really, really.
We mustn’t forget to say thank you to our colleagues for helping us succeed - acknowledge these treasures and essentials of doing business by expanding our networks and businesses through introductions, and celebrate the facilitators. Let’s show some appreciation, people!
We’re not suggesting we prostrate ourselves in genuflection, indebtedness and gratitude. Honestly. Acknowledgement comes in SO many forms: a simple phone call in thanks or a thank you note (handwritten even better!), can go a very long way! For the more adventurous and ambitious (or for a bigger thank you), flowers or a basket of snacks delivered to the office for the recipient and their co-workers to enjoy. A lovely meal at their favorite restaurant, tickets to their favorite sports game or concert (these last two suggestions require actually knowing their favorite food or athletic preferences, hmmmmm, actually knowing a colleague? Where have we heard this before?) In some more transactional instances, a referral fee is another way we show gratitude, but let’s stick to the human element for now, shall we…..
Friends help friends, and business partners and colleagues recognize they need help sometimes. Being remembered means a lot, being seen for good deeds makes us want to keep the professional love flowing reciprocally. Not being remembered for an act of professional kindness can engender resentment, annoyance or a withdrawal from future interactions, can be received as disingenuous and coupled with feelings of being taken for granted. I don’t think any of us want to be perceived this way. Humbly saying thank you goes a million miles in the world of business - truly. Noticing and honoring the gifts of referrals, introductions, or even returning a confirmation phone call (!) all go a long way in the recognition of a colleague doing us a solid.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late.”
There’s a funny old adage: “I did not buy you a gift, because I know you hate to write thank you notes” ~Anonymous.
Don’t be that person. Say thank you…..
Until next time……..