In our fast paced business world (which seems oddly even more busy tethered to our computers instead of traveling to meetings and commitments), it’s SO easy to become mired in the singularly focused worlds of what we do, how we plan our days, what we want/need to accomplish by what time and who we need when we need them. Makes sense. We need to get stuff done, and in our currently remote situation, which hopefully will end very soon, this is even more challenging: deadlines, Zoom calls, business development, responding to immediate needs of our colleagues, personal life challenges of homeschooling kiddos, designating work spaces, and maintaining home and hearth. It’s a lot, absolutely no question.
We’re humans working with humans, each with our own lens and view on any given situation and interaction. Do we take the time to think about how our actions or inactions affect others? They are certainly easy to forget, particularly in our “home bubbles.” without the personal, non-verbal cues that we receive by being present together in an office, that our actions, inactions, responses, and non responses, do in fact affect others, and that there’s a concept called “common courtesy” that we sometimes forget in our busy lives.
It is safe to say that no one wants to be perceived as being disrespectful, uncaring, thoughtless, inconsiderate, abrupt or discourteous - especially in business. Right? We want our colleagues to understand that we care about our interactions with them, believe and trust that we’re considerate of their time, their needs, and that we appreciate their needs and deadlines. Think about it: if you had a one on one, in person exchange with someone who asked you a question, you would not look at the floor, simply ignore it and not respond at all - that sounds ridiculous. But with the anonymity and ubiquity of screen time and the lack of visual social cues to gauge a reaction of the recipient of the exchange, we forget we’re dealing with humans. Humans who are living in a similar personal / professional bubble, and who similarly need to get stuff done. Are we thinking about how our exchanges might be affecting their worlds? We’ve heard the ringing refrain of what we’re calling “Covid malaise” from many, many clients complaining about the lack of urgency, absence of consideration, and scarcity of responsiveness. So what’s up with this?
What is this thing called “courtesy?” Simply stated, it boils down to how our own actions affect or impact others. Manners make society alive. They create respect, loyalty and gratitude in interactions. They create a solid social and professional structure and they involve being polite and treating our colleagues the way we hope they’ll treat us.
SO, what are some reasons we all (yep, even though we try not to, sometimes we slip) procrastinate, ignore, hesitate, avoid and otherwise keep people waiting often unintentionally, (remembering that keeping someone waiting is one of the highest forms of passive aggressive control that exists)? Some of the reasons (justifications?) we've heard in our wanderings: “I’m too busy” (read: this is not a priority), “I don’t know the answer” (maybe not enough information?), “I’ll have to check and get back to you” (maybe you’re not talking to the right person to get the answer you need?), “I have too much on my plate” (time management?), “this can wait” (do we actually get back to it or does it get buried in tomorrow’s ‘to-do’s?), or our favorite, “I just don’t feel like responding” (ok, but does the person requesting information feel like waiting until you “feel like” responding?).
Look, we’re not casting stones, we’re all guilty of sometimes keeping people waiting, perhaps inadvertently, perhaps accidentally or perhaps involuntarily, no doubt about it. We wanted to highlight this topic because it keeps coming up in conversations so it’s clearly a frustration and on people's minds. Focusing on it is simply food for thought. Keeping in mind common courtesy and practicing manners with our interactions with colleagues, truly does tell them they’re valued, respected, seen and their time is just as important as yours in a non verbal and yet explicit implication by your actions. Any response is better than crickets, even if it’s “I know I owe you an answer and will get it to you by X date” (if it means putting that promise on your calendar, do it, and follow up!) or saying honestly “Crap, this fell through the cracks, I’m sorry and here’s your answer or here’s when you can expect one” or “This is simply not a priority for me right now.” People tend to be quite forgiving when they’re not kept in the dark. It’s about communicating, people: genuinely, fairly and responsively. It’s the right thing to do. Just sayin’.
Until next time…..