Communication

Listen: Uncover the Human: Connecting with Barbara Randell on Growing Your Human Relationships Currency

Listen: Uncover the Human: Connecting with Barbara Randell on Growing Your Human Relationships Currency

Happy summer!

This week, we thought we’d mix it up a bit and give you a break from reading - and instead provide you with some interesting listening! We invite you to check out our most recent podcast, Siamo’s Uncover the Human: Connecting with Barbara Randell on Growing Your Human Relationships Currency. Randell was honored to be a part of this podcast with hosts Cristina Amigoni and Alex Cullimore. Here it is for your listing pleasure on your drive home - if you’re actually going into the office - on a lunch break, after work, or for some beach listening (lucky you!) if you’re interested in hearing a little bit about a FIG perspective.

It's True: Practice Makes Perfect

It's True: Practice Makes Perfect

Practice: Another one of those words we throw around theoretically a lot. We talk often about “practice” in this space, but we thought we’d break it down to brass tacks and talk about what it means in form and execution. Not necessarily the sexiest topic in the world, as it probably throws us back to tedious hours practing our piano scales or long hours in the hot sun at soccer practice - but it’s really really important nonetheless, especially in today’s fast-paced world, where we barely have time to think and where the expectation of immediate gratification is so rampant. That frankly odious statement, “practice makes perfect,” is in fact true - and we’re forgetting to do it with our professional relationships.

SO - why is practice so important? Well, in business, connecting, maintaining, sustaining and nurturing relationships is an indisputable necessity. Business is done because of relationships - full stop. Sadly, we have become complacent in remembering the importance of our colleagues to our businesses, deferring to connecting on social media or quick emails to stay caught up with their lives - which is a woeful substitute to actually, really and truly knowing someone. Media is one-dimensional. Humans are very very multidimensional. Letting ourselves be known can be scary, for sure! It requires some vulnerability in allowing the other to know us, and some curiosity on our part to know them: our integrity, our beliefs, what we stand for professionally, are we reliable, dependable, patient, pleasant, fun, maybe funny? Smart? Someone they’d like to do business with? Someone they feel comfortable inviting to their networks? Someone they wouldn’t hesitate to pick up the phone to refer a colleague to? If we all can agree that these relationships are important in business, then why are we talking about practice?

Rediscovering Kindness

Rediscovering Kindness

Benevolence…….We worry about the lack of kindness in our world today. We worry that we have become so accustomed to assuming the worst from our fellow humans, that we have forgotten about affection and cordiality. We worry that the belief that the intentions of our fellow humans have become so polluted with expectations of the worst possible meanings or outcomes, that we’re forgetting about tenderness, patience, altruism and gentleness. We worry that we are becoming numb to generosity, compassion, consideration, or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward, and that this standard is becoming pervasive. It’s a lot to worry about.

Me Time...

Me Time...

Have you ever experienced 7 day work weeks? Ever used weekends to get a jump start on preparing for the upcoming excitements of the work week ahead? Ever felt like a slacker upon receiving an email, phone call or work text on a weekend? At 6am? At 9pm? “Eeeek! Someone is working and the implied imperative to respond is too great to ignore? A colleague is busy and requires an answer right now!

Yeah, us too.

"Problem Children:" We All Have Them (Or ARE Them!)

"Problem Children:" We All Have Them (Or ARE Them!)

Who pops to mind? We can all relate to this characterization of personalities at work otherwise the phrase wouldn’t be relatable. Right?

To begin with, please know we use this term with sincerest and genuine affection - to torture an oft-repeated theme in these offerings - there are reasons for everything: even problem children.

We ALL can be problem children - we all are in some circles.

What does it mean? Taking the time to understand each others’ sometimes differing beliefs, divergences in approaches, viewpoints, world views, intentional or unintentional biases, how we “do things,” and are we introverts or extroverts? We all bring preconceptions with us to work. But, what if our office neighbor doesn’t share them and has a completely different set of standards, work ethics and values? What if their method of communication is contrary to ours? What if their priorities contrast with ours and are peculiar to us? Do we simply label them as “problems” or do we seek to understand the nexus of the differing behavior and refocus on the task, project or directive at hand? Is it easier to put people with nutty, offbeat or painful standpoints (in our opinion!) in a simple box and label them as problem children? Easier, maybe - but does it accomplish the goals of a shared, mutually beneficial outcome (whatever that outcome may be)? Not to belabor the point: we’re human beings, folks! We don’t stop becoming humans when we become employees

Return to Normal? Now What?

Return to Normal? Now What?

Interesting questions, both: What is our new normal and “Now what?”

Teasing apart these queries, we happened upon this space: what are the (clearly unintended!) awarenesses and gifts our time apart during this once-in-a-century pandemic has afforded us (and yes, we believe there are some important ones)? How have we evolved in regards to perceptions, attitudes and approaches towards professional relationships? What have we learned and what can we extract from the lesson(s)? Hmmmmm, food for thought indeed.

In her article for the New York Times dated 4.23.21, Kate Murphy asserts:

“The past year has forced a mass meditation on the nature and strength of our social ties. While our culture has encouraged us to accumulate friends, both on and offline, like points, the pandemic has laid bare the distinction between quantity and quality of connections. There are those we’ve longed to see and those it’s been a relief not to see. The full reckoning will become apparent only when we can once again safely gather and invitations are — or are not — extended. Our social lives and social selves may never be the same.”

We submit for your consideration, now that things are opening up - returning to “normal” - who do we really want or need to spend time with professionally? Who is important to us and our professions? Now that we’ve had this time in relative Zoom isolation, necessitating intense intentionality with interactions (we could no longer just bump into a colleague in the lunchroom and ask a quick question), how have we prioritized communications and exchanges in a meaningful, thoughtful manner? Obviously (this is a FIG offering, after all!), consequential, relevant relationships are important, but what’s the quality of these interactions? Like it or not, we were compelled to calculate the relative importance of who we chose to engage with, what we needed to accomplish, and why we were doing so (we didn’t have much choice in the “where” question: Home office? Living room? Kitchen counter? Backyard? Ok, so we had a few choices)?

The Quest for Authenticity

The Quest for Authenticity

In her monthly newsletter for the Colorado Attorney Mentoring Program (CAMP), Ryann Peyton spoke about Essence vs. Persona: What's Informing Your Professional Identity? Around the same time FIG was invited to participate in a podcast at the end of May. It’ll be conversational about FIG’s work, but in advance, the hosts asked me to consider the concept of authenticity so this is as much an exercise for this writer as it is hopefully illuminating for you all, dear readers.

Dictionary.com defines authenticity as: “the quality of being authentic; genuineness”. What does THAT mean? How do we find and identify our authentic selves? Our unique identities?

The Evolution of Relationships

The Evolution of Relationships

What seems like 100 years ago, FIG wrote a white paper: Book of Business: What Is It and How Do I Build One? It was an article outlining strategic networking, marketing efforts, name recognition, expertise and referrals. In short: business relationships. We thought we’d take a deeper dive into this proposition and discuss the maturation cycle of professional alliances: what are some of the actual mechanics of maintaining, nurturing and sustaining these relationships and how exactly do we execute our desired goals without being transactional or mercenary?

Disagreements: What to Do?

Disagreements: What to Do?

Ahhh yes, an unfortunate detail in living and working with other humans: those nettlesome disagreements. We all have them, not many of us enjoy the experience (although there are those who seem to thrive on conflict, but that’s a discussion for another day), and yet, periodic discord does in fact rear its head from time to time. Disagreements are not necessarily a bad thing, not at all. They can provide a forum to hear different points of view, distinctive, contrasting and sometimes off-beat attitudes, beliefs and worldviews which, when conducted constructively, create the potential to broaden our own minds and perceptions thus enabling us to expand our horizons and intellects. All good things. So why do so many of us avoid having healthy debates and run like our hair’s on fire to Dodge or otherwise sidestep having these kinds of exchanges?

Yep, there’s a reason (broken FIG record), and guess what they boil down to?? Feelings! Confrontations bring up all manner of feelings: discomfort, frustration, irritation, annoyance, fear, rage, blame, outrage, disdain, being attacked, not being heard, recognized, appreciated, none of which are particularly fun or associated with a positive experience. In fact, on the continuum of fun to unfun, these feelings rank pretty highly in the unfun column. But let’s dig into why, shall we?

It All Comes Back to Fear & Love

It All Comes Back to Fear & Love

Yep. We’re going to say it again: we don’t stop being human beings when we become employees (as a gentle reminder).

As humans, we all have emotions, which can sometimes manifest in some questionable approaches to employee to employee, supervisor to employee, and employee to supervisor behaviors, interactions, and exchanges. Have you noticed? As we’re fond of saying, there’s a reason for everything: emotions can get in the way of effective, concise and direct communication, which can then lead to our work environment becoming a place where feelings guide the professional space as opposed to thoughtful, intellectual, rational and intentional goals aimed at a common purpose and directive. Feelings can be illogical, mercurial, random and often incomprehensible. It’s just part of being human. As employees, however, we really need to be mindful of how feelings are very different from rational thought. Feelings are not analytical, impartial or judicious, all characteristics of a well run business.

The thing is (and not going all “kumbaya let’s give one another a hug” here), every single human emotion can be boiled down to two fundamental emotional sources: love and fear.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross says: “There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt.” (OK, a little kumbaya. To add a bit of gravitas, The Atlantic and The Harvard Business Review among others, have published articles discussing love and fear in business, but you take our meaning).

SO. How do these two disparate emotions manifest at work?